Hire Right: 50 Shades of No Chemistry

For the sake of research—and for the sake of research only—I took it upon myself to watch this movie. There I stood, for you, dear reader, in line at Target—a copy of 50 Shades of Grey discreetly tucked between a $7.99 Henley and a box of Frosted Flakes.

Let’s get right into this.

A titillating concept ruined by a lead actor and actress who, on a scale from 0 to 10, have a chemistry of -6.

It is a film more boring—and somehow less “erotic”—than watching paint dry.

Critics agree. With an overall score of 25%, the consensus: disaster.

Evidence abounds.

This movie required extensive reshoots; the scenes promising passion and intimacy lacking any passion, or intimacy.

The promotional tour became a public relations nightmare. Our leads clearly can’t stand each other, and it’s evidenced in every interaction.

Above: Set your expectations to smolder: two professionals hired to portray a ravenous, insatiable magnetism can’t get sitting next to each other right.

Let’s call this what it is: a casting disaster.

The project ruined.

The leadership lesson is this.

Add the wrong person, and whatever you gain from their expertise is exponentially lost by the overall effect on your team.

Culture doesn’t just count. Culture is everything.

The final result is always measured by the effort of the collective whole. One toxic teammate will infect every colleague and every outcome.

Here’s how to get it right.

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Team building.

Don’t hire a skillset. Hire an attitude.

Attract the right people. You can teach skills; you can hand down knowledge. You cannot change attitude.

Add proven performers.

The greatest indicator of future success is past success. Successful people practice habits yielding optimal results in any endeavor. They will adjust to the landscape. They will learn your playbook. They will flourish.

Don’t listen to what people say—examine the results of what they’ve done. Words are words; proven results are concrete. Success breeds success.

Look for fundamental mismatches.

In some cases the answer isn’t obvious, or a matter of right or wrong. New members must fit into the working culture of your team.

Example: a new member requests to work remote, with a team who work together daily. Or a new member thrives in a hands-on working environment, but is brought into a team who meet once a week and otherwise work remotely.

You need to get this right.

The fundamental adjustment of workstyle may work for a time, but ultimately, you have set the new member up for failure. Their style must match the team’s; a glove fit is critical. Otherwise, their work satisfaction and engagement will slowly corrode. They, the group, and the outcome will suffer.

Nail the screening process.

You are looking for attitude. You are looking for proven results. Neither of these require an interrogation.

If you are employing firing squad tactics to those you interview, stop. You are being interviewed as well—premium talent understand the need for a cultural match, and will avoid any organization unworthy of their best effort.

Ask these questions:

What are your ambitions?

What are your professional strengths and authentic professional weaknesses?

What will your last three employers/references say about you?

Then call the last three managers/references. Share what the candidate stated. Verify authenticity of facts. Gauge the demeanor of the candidate from your interactions, and the feedback of managers/references. We’re looking for consistency in what the candidate, and their references, have to say. With high integrity prospects, it will all align.

Combine each of these tactics.

If the right candidate does not show up, you do not proceed. Do not let impatience fuel a hiring mismatch. You are courting disaster by doing so. Good enough isn’t. Keep hunting.

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Ultimately, 50 Shades of Grey offers a host of unorthodox concepts. All of which I adamantly oppose. Golf cart batteries, tire irons, and a Black & Decker pressure washer do not belong in the bedroom.

Each scene of this abomination?

Deeply upsetting to my Judeo-Christian sensibilities. This film should never be seen by anyone, ever. It is a plight on society such garbage exists—and shame on any who indulge in it.

I finished the film overwhelmed with shame and disgust.

And it was no better the second time I watched it.

Mark Joseph Huckabee